Taskmaster

4x5 film with Marley and Casey. 

This day was amazing, it was Summer a year ago. I knew my marriage was fraying but I had no idea it would all end abruptly so soon after this. This day 4 of my closest friends in Portland came over for dinner and to model in my backyard. I was only a month or two into my #tysabri infusions and was trying to make work about my Multiple Sclerosis. I shot dozens of sheets of film of these women that evening. Those images have gone on to articulate much more about relationships and intimacy as well as the hardships of living with a chronic illness. Grateful for these women for always helping me find my voice and my Portland community. Looking forward to celebrating you and all you’ve done for me over the years. 

public.jpeg


First Friday Opening at @jailbreakpdx July 5th 6-9pm

👉🏻👈🏽👉🏼👈🏿👉🏾👈🏿👉🏻👈🏽👉🏾👈🏿

#sheshootsfilm #ilforfp4 #backyardstudio #womenwhoshootfilm #womeninphotography #femalephotographer #filmphotography #ishootfilm #ilford #darkroom #blackandwhite #largeformat #largeformatfilm #4x5film #fineartnude #fineartphotography #feminist #artaboutillness #artaboutintimacy #intimacy #divorce #infidelity #love #chronicillness #multiplesclerosis #ms #modelfriends 

Dew

4x5 film with Courtney in the backyard studio, with foraged flowers from said backyard. 

———————————————-

public.jpeg

I have been flooded with love this month from visiting friends. It’s been a hard month dealing with old demons and working tirelessly to put my past behind me. Courtney came out spontaneously from New York City to spend 9 days in tiny Mokelumne Hill. She’s been here before and knows the beauty of its charms and simplicity. Immediately she fell into the roll of “two mommy” with Paloma and I was so grateful to see the love between them. We made some beautiful photos together, celebrated her birthday, laughed and cried in this new setting that frames my new life. I never thought I’d be so happy and at ease to be where I am now. It took a tragedy to bring me back here and it feels like a blessing.

As an only child I’ve had to rely on my friendships with women for my understanding of sisterhood. Courtney and I lovingly use the term “sister friend” to define our relationship. It’s more complex than a friendship held together with the strength of sisterhood. Thanks for the visit, being an amazing auntie to Paloma, and being there for me through the thick and thin of it all. #backyardstudio #womenwhoshootfilm #sheshootsfilm #ilforfp4 #film #fineartnude #foliage #floral #blondehair #blackandwhite #fineartphotography #photography #california #californiaphotographer #sisterfriend #sinar #largeformat #4x5film #arttherapy #artasmedicine #artistswithdisabilities #multiplesclerosis #ms #portrait #filmphotography #analog #analogforever 


Mirage

Mirage

120 film in natural light in the front yard “pool” with Courtney. 

We made this and a handful of other water themed images for a recent submission to @shotsmagazine last week. Its been a long time since I’ve stepped out of the backdrop setting of my make shift studios and swapped out my 4x5 to take pictures of something other than my daughters. At first the lack of control was frustrating. The dappled lighting, the tree overhead, focusing while handholding my twin lens struggling to balance standing on a stool hunched over my model were all throwing me off. I kind of thought this roll would be a wash. But all those things I thought were hindering me were actually coming together to paint a lovely picture. And the freedom of handheld and roll film helped me to make looser images which sometimes I love!

public.jpeg

Today is World Multiple Sclerosis Day. I’m not doing anything to “celebrate” except living in this body and trying to continue to spread awareness. I’ve shared this image before but it is the one of the many I’ve made that I think best articulates my experience. MS is an autoimmune disease that attacks the myelin sheath protecting the nerves in the brain and spinal cord leaving lesions and permanent damage to the nerves. I’m no expert by any means but my understanding is that majority of people with MS experience lesions in their brain and try to catch and prevent further development before it finds its way to the spine. Brain lesions come with a whole variety of issues that I don’t envy, spinal lesions tend to have a strong affect on a person’s mobility. I have some lesions on my brain but the majority are on my spinal cord. Because of this it was important for me to start medication as soon as possible to stop the progression, preserve my mobility and prevent the need of a walking aid. When faced with the choice of taking medication or losing my ability to walk I didn’t feel like I had much choice. I chose medication and it’s been almost a year of Tysabri infusions. There’s this looming ghost that creeps in the back of my neck, it’s dormant for now under the control of my medication. However Tysabri comes with its own risks and probably isn’t a forever fix. I continue live with permanent nerve damage and fatigue but I have had no new lesions form since I started medication. I’m really lucky and healthy right now and hopefully for a long while.

42883282-77F1-436E-BB27-82BC463593CD.jpeg

Intro to Darkroom Class

I am offering a Silver Gelatin Printing class through my personal darkroom at Jailhouse Studios. Thursdays September 7th-September 28th. This 4 week class will be limited to 2 students, any skill level and film format. We will cover everything from film processing to making cohesive silver gelatin prints toward a series. This will be almost like a private training, offering a lot of potential for artistic development. You can sign up in the booking section of my website!